The evidence is compelling
Last month, John Kerry lauded "Lambert Field"
during a visit to Wisconsin. He has yet to acknowledge
Lambeau Field, the historic home of the Green Bay Packers.
(Look for a Football Fans For Truth billboard coming
soon near Lambeau Field, educating Wisconsin football
fans about Kerry.)
John Kerry also praised the Ohio State
Buckeyes football team--during a visit to Michigan.
Kerry catches a football like a girl.
NEW! Outraged fans throughout the nation
have alerted us to The Great Football Flinch (right).
We combed the archives for exculpatory evidence, but
as of yet have found none that prevent this damning
conclusion: John Kerry can't catch a football at all.
But there's more.
Kerry Strikes Out in Baseball
Kerry told a radio interviewer that
his favorite Red Sox player was Eddie Yost. Eddie Yost
never played for the Sox. He spent most of his career
with the Washington Senators, where he earned the nickname
"The Walking Man" for his ability to draw
a base on balls.
Kerry once praised "Manny Ortez"
of the Red Sox. There's no Manny Ortez on the Sox lineup--or
indeed, any other MLB roster. Manny Ramirez and David
Ortiz play for the Red Sox. Maybe all baseball players
names sound alike to the Democrat nominee.
Kerry threw the first pitch at a Red Sox-Yankees game,
he did not throw from the pitcher's mound -- yet still
bounced the ball before it reached home plate. He then
blamed his namby-pamby throw on the catcher, a National
Guard soldier and Iraq war veteran: "I held back,"
Kerry told reporters. "He was very nervous. I tried
to lob it gently." Conclusion: John Kerry throws
a baseball worse than a girl.
John Kerry responds to George Bush's
GOP acceptance speech with the following opening remarks:
"I'll tell you what happened tonight
that will be remembered. The Boston Red Sox moved to
within 2.5 games of the New York Yankees."
At the time of Kerry's speech,however,
the Red Sox had not moved up in the standings. While
they won that night, so did the Yankees, and the Sox
remained 3.5 games back. And John Kerry accuses Bush
of misleading the American people?
Hunting gaffe reports have tripled
John Kerry says he enjoys hunting doves. As he told
the Washington Post, "You clean them. Let them
hang. It takes three or four birds to have a meal. You
might eat it at a picnic, cold roasted. I love dove."
Any dove hunter knows that you don't "hang"
dove (unless they've commited felony murder).
The Washington Post reported in an
article entitled "John Kerry: Hunter, Dreamer,
Realist" (which also noted that Kerry strummed
the theme to "Love Story" on his guitar and
"has such thick, aggressive hair he uses a brush
with metal teeth") that John Kerry wrote the following
poem to a deer:
"I had a talk with a deer today
we met upon the road some way.
...between his frequent snorts
He asked me if I sought his pelt
cause if I did he said he felt
quite out of sorts!"
The Milwaukee Journal Sentinel asked
John Kerry if he liked to hunt. Kerry's reponse:
"I go out with my trusty 12-gauge
double-barrel, crawl around on my stomach. I track
and move and decoy and play games and try to outsmart
them. You know, you kind of play the wind. That's
Kerry did not reveal if one of his "games"
was to read his poetry to the deer, which would certainly
flush them from cover.
Kerry's sports shames continue:
When John Kerry was skiing, he fell.
He blamed his Secret Service protection. "I don't
fall down," he told reporters after the tumble.
John Kerry windsurfs. "The size
of the wave, the intensity of the winds, the complexities
that change as that changes. You don't control that."
Secret Service Windsurfers?
John Kerry on sports:
On hockey: "I love to play hockey."
On tennis: "I love to play tennis."
On sailing: "I love sailing."
On skiing: "I love to ski."
Quotes from: americanwindsurfer.com
Can any true sports fan believe this
How Can You Help?
Yes, Republicans have endured the occasional sporting
shame. George W. Bush traded Sammy Sosa. Ronald Reagan
called sports plays more than he played sports. And
Vince Lombardi was a Democrat.
But America deserves a President who
knows the difference between an airport and a football
field, and who can spook a batter at least as well as
he scares a dove.
Football Fans for Truth is dedicated
to informing the American sports fan of the great risk
that could befall our country.
Dino Panagopoulos, Chairman: "John
Kerry is a menace to sports fans everywhere. Can we
take four years of this? I don't think so."
Jeff Larroca, Director: "He is
not fit to be our sports-fan-in-chief."
Football Fans for Truth is already moving
forward with its public education campaign. The organization
has ordered a billboard near "Lambert Field"
to educate Wisconsin football fans of the! threat of
a Kerry administration. It will stand through the election.
With additional public support from
concerned sports fans, Football Fans for Truth plans
to undertake other initiatives throughout the country.
fans for truth
Thanks to John Marden for sending me this gem of