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Why Did The Chicken Cross The Road? |
 George
Bush's Answer:
We don't really care why the chicken crossed the road. We
just want to know if the chicken is on our side of the
road or not. The chicken is either with us or it is
against us. There is no middle ground here.
Al Gore's Answer:
I invented the chicken. I invented the road. Therefore,
the chicken crossing the road represented the application
of these two different functions of government in a new,
reinvented way designed to bring greater services to the
American people.
Bill Gates' Answer:
I have just released eChicken 2003, which will not only
cross roads, but will lay eggs, file your important
documents, and balance your checkbook - and Internet
Explorer is an inextricable part of eChicken.
Martha Stewart's Answer:
No one called to warn me which way that chicken was going.
I had a standing order at the farmer's market to sell my
eggs when the price dropped to a certain level. No little
bird gave me any insider information.
Ernest Hemingway's Answer:
To die. In the rain. Alone.
Martin Luther King Jr's Answer:
I envision a world where all chickens will be free to
cross roads without having their motives called into
question.
Barbara Walters' Answer:
Isn't that interesting? In a few moments we will be
listening to the chicken tell, for the first time, the
heart-warming story of how it experienced a serious case
of molting and went on to accomplish its life-long dream
of crossing the road.
Ralph Nader's Answer:
The chicken's habitat on the original side of the road had
been polluted by unchecked industrialist greed. The
chicken did not reach the unspoiled habitat on other side
of the road because it was crushed by the wheels of a
gas-guzzling SUV.
Jerry Seinfield's Answer:
Why does anyone cross a road? I mean, why doesn't anyone
ever think to ask, "What the heck was this chicken doing
walking around all over the place anyway?"
Jerry Falwell's Answer:
Because the chicken was gay! Isn't it obvious? Can't you
people see the plain truth in front of your face? The
chicken was going to the "other side." That's what they
call it -- the other side. Yes, my friends, that chicken
is gay. And, if you eat that chicken, you will become gay
too. I say we boycott all chickens until we sort out this
abomination that the liberal media whitewashes with
seemingly harmless phrases like "the other side."
John Lennon's Answer:
Imagine all the chickens crossing roads in peace.
Saddam Hussein's Answer:
This was an unprovoked act of rebellion and we were quite
justified in dropping 50 tons of nerve gas on it.
Bill Clinton's Answer:
I did not cross the road with THAT chicken. What do you
mean by chicken? Could you define chicken, please?
Albert Einstein's Answer:
Did the chicken really cross the road or did the road move
beneath the chicken?
Sigmund Freud's Answer:
The fact that you are at all concerned that the chicken
crossed the road reveals your underlying sexual
insecurity.
Richard Nixon's Answer:
The chicken did not cross the road. I repeat, the chicken
did not cross the road.
Joseph Stalin's Answer:
I don't care. Catch it. I need its eggs to make my omelet.
Louis Farrakhan's Answer:
The road, you will see, represents the black man. The
chicken crossed the "black man" in order to trample him
and keep him down.
Colonel Sanders' Answer:
I missed one?
Special thanks to Lorna for sending
me this gem... |
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